Anal Mishaps Part 2
On a Sunday evening a gentleman came into the Emergency Department with his wife. It seems that they had been playing around late Saturday night, the wife was using a vibrator around his anus for some added stimulation. The vibe got sucked up.
This couple was at least honest with the Doctor and staff and let us know that it was a vibrator and yes, it was being used for sexual pleasure. The man actually tried to take laxatives and other such techniques to try to get it out, but no success.
This man was really an awful patient. He believed that despite the fact that the vibrator was there for hours that he was truly an emergency. He was not happy that he was required to wait. So, instantly he got on the wrong side of the nurses. This is not a good thing to do.
He had to wait to get to a treatment room and then wait to see a doctor. He didn't realize that he had come to a very large urban hospital that sees people with things like gunshot wounds and stabbings. Of course, his vibrator issue was much more important.
When I put my stethoscope up to this man's belly I could actually hear that the dam thing was still on, and very high up in his bowels. I asked the wife what type of batteries she was using. This caused her and myself to bust out laughing. Of course this pissed off the man even more.
He got his X-ray, dang, it’s way up there and it is still rumbling. The man decided that he wants to have something to eat while he is waiting for the surgeon to see him. It is very hard to explain to a pissed off individual that you can not eat anything because they may want to do surgery.
I will always remember the surgeon asking the man how big it was and the man stating that it was approximately this big with a show of his hands, indicating about 8 inches long and 1 1/2 inches around. The wife then clarified that it is more like 5 inches long and maybe an inch around. I guess he wanted to seem like he could take larger toys? I did tell the surgeon that I would go with the wife's measurements. This of course pissed the man off.
Eventually the batteries died and the surgeon did come to see him and they had scheduled surgery for the next morning. He still wasn't able to eat. I really didn't feel bad for him because he was so awful to all the staff and to his wife.
The moral of the story is to be nice to the Emergency Department staff, it gets you more compassion and don't use toys anally if they weren't meant for anal play. Get toys with a flange.
These images are not from the actual patient described.